fears and apprehensions

- that I won't be able to make it up to SF in August
- that I won't be able to find a place to stay in time
- that the course turns out to be more than crap
- that I end up not being able to cope with the course due to my own failings (even if the course isn't actually bad)
- that the people I connected with in SF the last time want nothing to do with me
- that I am just utterly bad at effective communication
- that I will hurt and harm without even knowing what or how I'm doing so
- that it's same shit different city
- that the people who are all about "non-violent communication" actually use that as a weapon to brandish smugness and holier-than-thou attitudes
- that I don't know what the hell I am doing
- that I will get overwhelmed and crash&burn
- that my fears aren't worth addressing
- that I can't find a way to resolve them
- that no one really gives a shit

yikes

I got into the MFA! Now to pay for it.

My application for the MFA in Creative Inquiry, Interdisciplinary Arts at the California Institute of Integral Studies is SUCCESSFUL!


Now I'm somewhat freaking out trying to figure out how to afford everything before August. Especially because to get the visa I need to prove that I can pay for a year, even though so many funding options won't even let me know if I'm successful or not until after I start.

People keep saying "crowdfunding!!" as though it's the Great Fixall, though from my experience it tends to be very unreliable and tends to work better anyway if it's more of a preordering mechanism. What's there to preorder in my project - a copy of my degree? I'm not even sure what I'll end up with after two years. Possibly a show of some sort, or some workshops...but part of the point of the MFA & my project is finding out what people need and working around that, rather than being didactic about what people need.

I am thinking of setting up a website of my project, documenting my progress, do some fundraising. Would you be interested in following? I'd rather keep this blog for more random thoughts rather than have to funnel it all into one grand purpose.

Also any ideas for funding that's open to a Bridging Visa holder in Australia on a Malaysian passport would be greatly appreciated!

if I don't do what I love, I will die.

So today I had a session with a new psychotherapist who mostly works with Gestalt but also deals with Trauma Release Exercises (which was how I found her). She was such a lovely kind open soul, spent more time with me than I expected, and I do feel that I will return.

After my first go at TRE (essentially a set of exercises that set off the tremor system, making you shake - apparently a primal stress-relief method), shaking and shimmying so weirdly I found it hilarious, I started feeling a lot of sadness. But it wasn't really a sadness I could tie down to anything (though I have been quite down for a while). Rather it felt like a sparkling blue sea foam lapping and pouring up from my heart to my mouth, salty and bitter like bile, on a rhythm like an ocean wave.

The therapist got me to sit with that for a while, talk about what else was coming up. The sea foam became a beach, abandoned yet for the multitudes of Not Allowed signs and the odd bits of rubbish. There were seagulls, cliff rocks in the distance, it was grey and overcast. Pretty lonely otherwise,

It would be beautiful if it wasn't deserted.

The therapist asked me to say something to this beach, to the feelings rocking from my stomach to my heart to my mouth, a gem stone blocking my throat.

I surprised myself with my answer.

You are perfect just the way you are.


Surprised, because I had spent most of the introduction time talking about how frustrating it was that I had to fight for my existence. Surprised, because ever since I was a little girl I was told that my name was wrong, my religion was wrong, my race was wrong, my citizenship was wrong, the way I did art was wrong, my intellectual interests were wrong, my skin was wrong. Everything was wrong. Surprised, because for all my life I yearned for the people who wouldn't just accept these "wrong" parts of me, but celebrate it and prize it, yet deep within I figured that there's only so far self-acceptance will go if the rest of society is largely structured to make it harder for people like me - the constant Other - to just get through life, let alone thrive.

You are perfect just the way you are.


I said it again. The beach sparkled a little bit. There were a couple of people on there now, faces I do not recognise, just walking or lounging around. Not recognising the emotional depth of the ocean, the loneliness of the beach. It was just there for them to use and relax.

I feel a life metaphor coming.

A little while later I am now home, alone, just sitting with how I feel after TRE and Gestalt therapy - calmer, cool in the blood, tired. Suddenly I am struck by a strong realisation:

If I do not do what I love, I will die.


Strange - for a while I felt that I did not have the right or the access to do what I love, because there were so many obstacles that just surviving took higher priority. Strange - for a while death did not seem like an unattractive option. Strange - because I'm not entirely sure what it is that I love to do just yet.

There are a couple of options that capture my imagination right now, almost to the point of obsessiveness. They relate to a couple of very specific people, long-time life-long muses, and to my desire to be mentored and supported and believed in by the very people I believed in the most. The people that sparked a lot of what I do now, the initial firestarters, the continual heat and energy. The likelihood is so damn low though that fantasizing about the opportunity is the closest I can do about it. On the one hand - I do have a superstition about overthinking something I'm hopeful for in case it goes absolutely awry (not just not happen, but backfire tremendously). On the other hand - I'd be mighty surprised if anything close to what I hope for will happen anyway.

But hey, stranger things have happened.
Even if it took me about ten years.

Asides from impossible dreams with major heart heroes that would make my entire life if they happen: I'm not entirely sure quite where to go from here. I do have some core guiding principles: everything I do has always been about trying to make a space for myself and people like me, saying that our needs and wants and desires are perfectly fine, whether that's been through media or alternative education activism or performance or what. And part of me wants to still go on with that. But part of me is also tired of continuously fighting, of feeling that if I don't keep on with being the perfect Anti-Oppressive that I am letting down everyone else, letting down myself.

Sometimes I just want to be selfish and just do things because I want to.
Which currently means finding ways to get mentored by my heroes or singing my heart out just coz it's fun or ...well I don't know anymore.

I don't feel safe performing the work that sings to me in the spaces available to me. I've recently made myself even more selective, only picking events that will appreciate the sort of work that I do. (Not all of my choices have necessarily worked out, but that's a learning process.) It does mean often having to travel interstate, or more likely internationally now, and I do feel like a major move is on the cards - I'm just wary about things being same shit different city.

But oh I miss performing, it's so much fun.

I'm not sure if there's just one thing or two that I can specifically pinpoint to as "things I love". I just want the freedom to explore and experiment and give things a go whenever they strike me. That's how I got into burlesque to start with: mostly going "hmm this looks interesting" and sticking around. There are things I would love to try, but they're all so far away, and I wish Virgin Australia would give me a lifetime membership already.

If I don't do what I love, I will die.


First step I suppose is figuring out what I love. Or at least like. And where to do them in a supportive environment - that makes all the difference.

On polyamoury, marriage, race, and legalities

This afternoon I got a call from someone from The Australian asking about polyamorous marriage and a recent statement by The Australian Greens being against the idea (link behind paywall). It was a bit of a roundabout opportunity - they used the SlutWalk press release to find someone else, found me, asked me too - and knowing The Australian I do feel that I will end up being portrayed as Crazy Brown Boat Person on Bridging Visa Who Comes From Polygamous Culture ZOMG THE BROWN PEOPLES. Now I've set back the contemporary poly movement 2 generations and also will piss off any relatives reading. Woo.

So if by magic you found me here after whatever The Australian thinks is my policy on relationships, hello! Here's some free thinking.

I grew up Muslim, where the stereotype is that men are allowed multiple wives. The stereotype is subtly misleading, because it misses out why the provision is there - something even Muslims themselves fail to realise. The provision came during a time of war where lots of men died in the frontline, leaving war widows. The idea was that through marriage - more or less a property contract at the time rather than some sort of declaration of TWU LUV - these war widows would be provided for rather than left alone in a patriarchal culture that still had some issues with women being self-provided. (Granted, I never got to learn much about women back in Muhammad's day, and I know his first wife was a successful entrepreneur.) You could only have up to four wives at a time, only with your wife's consent, and only if you are able to treat them all fairly. Having multiple wives was a responsibility, not an excuse for free nookie.

In Malaysia there's often a lot of opposition against polygamy by feminists, including Islamic feminist groups like Sisters in Islam. I'm not completely comfortable with that; I feel like that throws the baby out with the bathwater. YES, people are unethical in relationships, and YES there have been men misusing the polygamy provision solely for his benefit without caring for his partners. But that's misuse. If taken in the spirit of the provision - care for each other and make sure no one is of want - then I don't see a problem. What people may not know is that both the wife and the husband can call for divorce, and there's some provision for property/inheritance distribution, though it's rather complicated and in Malaysia at least becomes a big pain with bureaucracy.

(I do not know enough about this in context of women with multiple husbands, or same-sex relationships. From what I know, Islam is practiced very differently in different countries and regions, and what's culturally normal in one is taboo in another is a non-issue in another. Also there's plenty of people willing to use religion, or any other ideology, to perpetuate their biases. It's not purely a Muslim issue.)

Growing up I saw relationships taking on that caretaker role: you got married not necessarily out of romantic love (though that started to get more common with my parents' generation on) or even sex, but because you wanted to take on the responsibility for care and providership. Companionship was key. Each partner had a role in the household, they both supported each other, and the obligation extended to descendants - filial piety was important. Your family comes first.

I found the Western ideas around what makes for worthy relationships rather skewed towards sexual compatibility and "feelings" more than anything else. To borrow a line from a Facebook conversation, suddenly the person you're shagging is the person most responsible for your wellbeing! What an expectation. This especially came to a point some years ago between my matey and I: I trusted him more than anyone, and I deeply cherished and valued his companionship, but I was feeling underfulfilled sexually (as a kinky adventurous queermo mostly into the same, dating a vanilla dude). Was I supposed to break up with him just because I like my sex rather differently? Does the trust and care and companionship not matter anymore? Are we doomed?

I had heard about polyamoury for a little while, but resisted the label. I saw sense in it (and even in my past I had many times where I wanted multiple people concurrently or was at least open to the idea) but I was already an outsider on other axes: I didn't need another freak label. However, I couldn't deal with the expectations of there being The One and one person has to fulfill EVERYTHING and if the sex wasn't satisfactory then GAME OVER. I couldn't tell my parents about it as much as I wanted to - sex was taboo and usually not really something to worry about. Care and piety came first. They probably would just wonder why I'd want to throw away someone who is really good to me just for something impermanent and random. And for a long time I wondered that too.

Then I came to grips with polyamoury, wondered if that was an option. I thought about how I wanted my relationships to be: unique with each individual, with varying levels of emotional and physical intimacy that can change at any time without necessarily costing the relationship, freedom rather than ownership. I felt bad for my desires; I thought I was somehow betraying my matey, or being greedy, because I didn't think he was enough.

Thankfully he was actually pretty open to the idea, and we've been pretty happily poly ever since. (Though, perhaps ironically, he's found someone much more able to fulfil his sexual desires while I'm looking for someone more permanent than a one-off. Sigh, life!) It relaxed the relationship; it allowed me to get rid of preconceptions and assumptions. It's still hard work, especially as we grow and change and find out more about ourselves. Certain aspects still become a major talking point. But no matter how I relate to my matey, whether we're a "couple" or not, he is still dear to my life and I wouldn't want to lose him at all.

So much of the marriage equality jazz talks about having legal access: visitation, inheritance, emergencies, custody, and so on. Yet at the same time, marriage is posited as being only ideal if someone ticks all your boxes, that if you dare compromise or decide "hey, they're not really fulfilling me in XYZ way but I trust them enough for other things", that's somehow wrong. WHY? Why do you need to marry someone to get those legal rights anyhow? Why is my spouse suddenly more important than a family member, a friend, a professional? Just because I'm someone's companion doesn't mean I trust them with, say, medical work or finances. Maybe I have friends who are more reliable for that. Maybe I want it split over a number of people so that there is always backup. Maybe I'd rather trust a professional whose job is to take care of these things. Why must it be my spouse or no one else?

It's like people don't value the companionship as much as they do the sex. Already we have this idea that if you're a "couple" but you're not sexual with each other, you're "just friends". And marriage brings up consummation (i.e. SEXYTIMES). When did sex start being fundamental to other human rights and issues? Why do I need to proclaim "OK this person is MINE also the sex is awesome" to declare them as part of my legal plans?

Why does the Government even need to know?


Find lawyers - or set up free legal centres - and allow people to make their own declarations. I'm not fond of the "assume it's family or spouse" option only because that can lead to situations where family/spouse don't actually care about you but have legal veto. Have professionals on board if you can't find anyone else: people trained in organising, empathy, human relations. Don't force people into relationships with loaded terms just so they can have someone take care of them in hospital. Separate Government and marriage - let people do their own ceremonies and deal with the legalities separately.

(Amusingly Centrelink recognises multiple relationships, especially de facto and same-sex. Polyamoury in bureaucracy already!)

And going back to my cultural background: I'm quite miffed at how the secular Western-centric polyamorous communities seem to disregard Muslim, Mormon, or other religious poly marriages as somehow "not poly", even accusing them of "not being ethical". Usually the fact that it tends to be very gender-specific is brought up as a reason, that it's not as "free" as it should be.

I think that's just an excuse for racism. ONOZ, we can't have those weird conservative religious nuts be poly, then everyone will think that I'm a weird conservative religious nut too! There's already anti-religious bigotry as it is. People do non-monogamy in many other forms (as psychologist Meg Barker notes, non-monogamy is more than just the opposite of monogamy) and even the so-called "secular" or "ethical" relationships are not immune to problems. Abuse happens. Coercion happens. They happen in all relationship forms; no relationship is automatically immune. Trying to pick at a group for being more woo or more pious in their relationships is bigotry.

It frustrates me that because I dared bring up my background, I've somehow set back the polyamorous community 2 generations and that I'm talking about "old-fashioned" stuff. Multiple religious marriages still happen, and the people involved are still worthy of respect and care. They're not the entirety of polyamoury, sure, but they're not exclusive of it either. And whether you agree with their religious ideas or not, respect them for their choices. It's not up to you to decide if they're "ethical" or "oppressed" or whatever if all you know of them is what you think their religion is.

Just like the marriage equality movement, and how frustrating it is that Happy Middle-Class White Gay Male Couples are somehow better than Trashy Gold-Diggers or Quick Las Vegas Weddings or Multiple Divorces. As if there can't be same-sex marriages that are also quick/gold-digging/lead to divorce/fucked up in some way. As if the people who partake in the marriages you so decry are not worthy of respect. As if you're so much better than anyone. Come off it! Rights are for all, including the people you may not like or who don't look perfect.

Let's see how The Australian takes me. Probably not that much different from the rest.

Kickstarting Kickstarter

Ha, looks like XKCD is also jumping into the "let's crowdfund the people to come up with a project to crowdfund" idea:

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

The past week or so there has been quite a few blogs (mostly of the design/art inclination) talking about things they have been afraid to reveal to their readers. I don't know if I have very many readers anymore, and I do tend to be quite open to the point of oversharing, but there are some things that I haven't really told very many people. Seeing the outpouring of support elsewhere though, I figure it would be worth a try.

* I used to be a lifelong devoted writer. People were expecting me to win a Pulitzer just because I wrote tons. As a teenager I was a heavily prolific fanfiction writer, and often wrote stories with my friends in them as gifts. When I had an idea I just wrote it down in a jiffy. I didn't let anything stop me. I wrote as an escape, I wrote for fun, I wrote just because.

Then I took Creative Writing at university. Big mistake. What I was expecting were some resources and support on writing from the heart and sharing your story. Instead the course was based on writing for publication, with a focus on sellability. I would write really honest reflections based on my life and be told "your structure's good, but your characters are unrealistic" - my characters are me! I felt deeply discouraged, felt like I sucked and was horrible, and for a long while I stopped writing.

It's been a while since I wrote fiction. I used to be a regular NaNoWriMo participant but lately I've just been badly blocked. The only reason I've managed to write some poetry lately is because last year in San Francisco I was part of the Writing Ourselves Whole workshops, which uses the Amherst method - freewriting in a time constraint, sharing (if desired), and all the feedback is about what parts of the story resonated positively. No grammar nitpicking, no snide remarks, no shortcomings. Only the best parts. This was what I was hoping to get from my Creative Writing course - people who held your stories to heart, respected your views, responded with what worked for them. In those workshops I wrote mostly personal pieces, plus some poetry, and it felt rather affirming and freeing. Thank you Jen Cross and everyone else that was a part of these workshops.

I'm still blocked in some ways; the writing that used to come so easy to me (songwriting, scriptwriting, poetry, fiction, even some non-fiction beyond Ranty Political Blog Post and including that) is now laced with fear, frustration, can't get the words to convey what I have in my head. Recently I stumbled onto an archive of my Savage Garden fanfic from long ago - I cringed at the quality (they were cheesy as hell), but I rather admired my teenage self for her sheer confidence and just-do-it spirit. I wrote two musicals for crying out loud! I wish I was still the same in spirit.

* When I was at school I was mercilessly teased by my art teachers for being "bad" at art. Well, make that most of the faculty, adding it onto abuse for being a racial minority and having panic disorder and whatever else they had issues with (school was very traumatic for me). I had one teacher tell me his 6-year-old drew better. In Std 6 all of us had to enter a mandatory anti-drug poster drawing contest, and I used a concept that I saw in a book (split skull). When I walked to the school gates the morning they would announce who didn't get through the next round (the names unannounced got through), my head teachers stopped me and told me they found my poster so horrible they threw it away. Since I was no longer in the running my name wasn't announced either way, which made my classmates think I made it through the next round; I didn't have the heart to tell them what the teachers told me. I was 12.

Adding to the frustration of this was that my sister is a very talented artist, and recently has dived into illustration as a career. We went to the same schools (though many years apart, so we were never in school at the same time) and she got all the art prizes. She was the Artist, I was the Writer. I internalised the idea that I was crappy at art; no one was telling me different, and besides I'm more interested in literature and music and the Internet.

The sad part is that if it wasn't for 11 years of trauma at school I probably would have gone quite far as a visual artist. I think in scenes and pictures and images. I have so many ideas for visuals, rich in colour and texture and sense, but I feel like there's a disconnect between my brain and my hand. I am frustrated at my lack of skill, of uncoordination - or maybe that, like my writing block, I'm just too fearful because I'm convinced that I suck. Maybe I need a hypnotist to get me out of that funk. Or a machine that records dreams.

I have been curious about installation art and do dabble in drawing, painting, sewing, collage making, though I'm not 100% (or anywhere near 50% I guess) happy with my results - they never quite look like how I imagined. I'm trying to break out of the fear and trauma, though it might take a while. I am currently participating in a project with Queensland Museum about collections, and thinking of ideas of turning my Darren Hayes song collection into an installation piece - fangirl moment into art. I started by painting his calendar cover with watercolours...it's a start.

That's all I'm prepared to say right now. Thanks for listening.

Crowdfunding People rather than Projects

So crowdfunding seems to be the New Cure-All for Any Creative Project Ever (especially when it became synonymous with Kickstarter despite the latter not even being the only crowdfunding site available and not even the first). Got a project? Got an idea? Got a dream? Bugger grants or conventional fundraising - put it up on Kickstarter and THE RICHES WILL COME.

Never mind that the people that are usually most successful at this ventures have some sort of social privilege already (at least a major fanbase that has money to throw at people). There's another limitation to crowdfunding sites right now that omits a group that could really use the money and support.

Currently crowdfunding seems to work best when there is a tangible product involved. Essentially it's a form of preordering, and that's what a lot of crowdfunders put their money on: a purchase for a product that is still in development. Even somewhat more fluid projects tend to have a tangible product or two as a perk - tickets, downloads, physical art, access to services, and so on, even if it's not directly from the project being crowdfunded (e.g. selling off old art to fund a new piece).

Often one of the trickiest aspects of building a project or a product is having the time to come up with the project idea in the first place. Some projects need quite a bit of planning time to decide what is possible to be achieved, what are the tangible aspects, what can be offered - what's doable. Yet finding the time, energy, and resources to plan this project can be difficult.

I'll use myself as an example: it's been a while since I have made new performance pieces. Part of this is due to performer's block, part is due to some major life upheavals that happened since I returned from San Francisco, some is because I was majorly stressed out on not having enough money to live as well as health issues and was concentrating on dealing with them. I did want to create more, perform more - but I had no idea what. I needed muck-around time, but I couldn't afford it.

When I crowdfunded for San Francisco - a trip that involved a 3-month artist residency, which is meant to be "muck-around time" - I got quite a few comments about "why should I fund your vacation". Even though my three months were FULL with two internships, a few volunteer projects, and what eventually became my first go at a one-person show - not much time to "vacation"! And that was with the benefit of having a semi-structured residency. I bet I would have received as much, if not more, disdain if I stayed home.

"I want to not have to worry about living expenses or other life stuff for a few months so that I can muck around and work out what to do next. I don't know what I'll do as part of these few months, or even how long, because the discovery is part of the process. I'm not sure if anything will come out of it. Fund me?"


Yeah, you can see how that might not be a successful campaign. It might work for people who already have a fanbase, but I envision that a lot of people who are more likely to do such a campaign are the people who haven't quite got enough quality work or experience to earn a fanbase in the first place - or need this time to push their work into a higher level and attract more quality fans.

In a way it's rather like a sabbatical, but (as in the linked example) usually with sabbaticals you have some idea what you're going to be up to. But what if you need time & money to figure out what you're going to be up to? All you know is that you need to do something; you just don't know enough to know your plans yet. Maybe you have some idea what Point Z is, but you don't know what goes from A to there. You need to experiment, to take on opportunities as they come, to procrastinate and percolate - stuff that's never going to fit neatly into a Gantt chart.

There are some grants that are about funding the journey of an upcoming artist (usually a graduate) for the next few years or so: for example, Australia Council's ArtStart program. My personal issue is that due to my bridging visa I don't qualify for any grant (and I have tried for ArtStart but my bridging visa got in the way), and also this doesn't help people who aren't quite sure what to do with their arts practice, whether it's an arts practice that they want to do (or if their interests are better served in some other form), who have other bureaucratic issues that make them ineligible for formal funding, This is why some of them turn to crowdfunding - but when you're still at the beginning planning stages it can be very difficult to find support.

Some common responses:

Get a job! - It took me about 3 years before I landed a job that was a regular contract longer than 6 weeks. most of my other gigs have been temp work or freelance - VERY touch-and-go. This also excludes people who cannot do regular jobs (such as those with disabilities or migrants) as well as those that are shut out from employment due to social biases.

Go to school! - School is expensive and not always inclusive. Half the planning process is getting the education and training needed to learn more about your ideas, which takes up time and money and energy. First you need to find places to learn!

Why should I pay for you to fuck around? - Without the support available to take up the skills and opportunities needed to move forward, all that's going to happen is "fucking around". At least with some support there's a greater likelihood of being able to move forward. Besides, there's no guarantee that conventional crowdfunding projects will deliver what you paid for either.

Pay your dues! This is essentially what I'm talking about - paying your dues is expensive. In my performance/media/activism journey, to get anywhere I had to go interstate and international, participate in various performance projects, do internships without pay, volunteer all over the place - just to get a foot in the door. This got really tricky without any sort of support behind me, because I wasn't at the stage where I could command support. I do have random fans and supporters, but many of them are not money'd up (they do have plenty of wellwishes though; too bad those aren't legal currency).

There were once patronages, where people paid for the development of an artist, maybe in return for a painting or two but the development was key. The "mystery benefactor" trope is pretty common and likely holds a grain of truth. Financial dominatrixes and sugar babies are able to get people to pay just because - so it's not like "What's In It For Me?" has to be a tidily-answered question.

And indeed, with a lot of people that are in this position, there will likely be a lot in it for their supporters and wider society, especially in terms of more intangible success such as greater well-being and positivity - but part of the process that needs support is working out what this return would look like.


Amanda Palmer is trying out LoanSpark, a type of investment project where, in return for large-scale investments the investors get dividends in the form of creative output - music, performances, art. What exactly this is is not exactly defined yet; that's what the money's going to be used for. It's like angel investing, just with a more unusual dividend payment.

What I'm proposing is something similar, but not limited to large-scale investments. Make it open to any amount. People are taking a bit of a gamble, because they're essentially just supporting someone's raw passion - passion that they're trying to find ways to carve and shape and build and strengthen if they could just afford it. But taking a chance can often lead to very powerful rewards for everyone.

Also LoanSpark is geared towards people who already have a "great track record". Sometimes you need help creating that track record. So some people are going to be relatively more risky than others - just like investing in any other company or stock market!

You get to be a part of this person's journey, their career, their passion. You're not just supporting them for a project and then that's it. You get to be at the very early stages of what could end up being awesome amazing projects - workshops or creative work or even allowing your benefactee to volunteer at a worthwhile organisation without worrying about expenses (ala Vodafone World of Difference). You're supporting them because you think who they are or what they stand for is awesome - though, unlike the Awesome Foundation (which fits its name) you don't need to have a tangible idea beyond maybe "This is something I want to explore further" to get in.

The support doesn't have to be purely financial either - people can offer free resources, in-kind support, mentorship, whatever that helps take the financial edge off. Kind of like PlanBig or CommunityRun though I don't think either do money collection just yet. I managed to get a lot of people's careers or projects started simply because I shared a key resource or connected them to the right people - those kind of steps can be small to do but have a big impact.

You're supporting them not just because they have a cool idea or a cool project. You're supporting them as people. It's a rather intimate arrangement in a sense, and there's no guarantee it would pay off. But the more you believe in them, the more likely they are able to make magic happen.

UPDATE: Turns out Y Combinator is way ahead of me - this year they have a funding track for people who want to do startups with no ideas:

So if the only thing holding you back from starting a startup is not having an idea for one, now nothing is holding you back. If you apply for this batch and you seem like you'd make good founders, we'll accept you with no idea and then help you come up with one. (We'll consider single founders too, but we prefer groups.) 

Why are we doing this? Partly because we realized we already were. A lot of the startups we accept change their ideas completely, and some of those do really well. Reddit was originally going to be a way to order food on your cellphone. (This is aviable idea now, but it wasn't before smartphones.) Scribd was originally going to be a ridesharing service. 

The other reason we're doing it is that our experience suggests that smart people who think they can't come up with a good startup idea are generally mistaken. Almost every smart person has a good idea in them. A good startup idea is simply a significant, fixable unmet need, and most smart people are at least unconsciously aware of several of those. They just don't know it. And we now have lots of practice helping founders see the startup ideas they already have.

YES YES I AM SUPER EXCITED THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING I AM TALKING ABOUT YES YES YES